We’d all like to claim we’re parents of the year, but most of us suffer constant guilt and anxiety over the job we’re doing. One year ago the only thing my son had ever seen on a moving screen where a few episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba, (who can resist Jack Black in an orange leotard). In Seattle it was easy to stay unplugged, it was part of the culture. Then came Los Angeles - where people eat, drink and breath media. There is literally no escaping it, everywhere you look there is a disconcerting amount of advertising predominantly geared at your children. All the other kids were doing it and we caved liked week teenagers. Then, at two years old, you wake up when obsession kicks in. Unintentionally, the media characters had become like best friends.

When I think back to what’s formed my taste and eye for design, I don’t think I’d be the same person without a broad visual dictionary of movie set design, costume and dramatics. Call me old fashioned, but a good movie can be like a piece of art, a step in time or place. Like a perfect espresso or mouth watering prosciutto, the telly can be delicious in moderation, but unravelling if overindulged.

And right now, we’re still manic. It was no subtle feat when we decided to go one week cold turkey. But what a small blip that is when you pack it full of exciting art experiments* (I mean that in condescension towards Martha Stewart mindless crafts. More on that soon…), exploring our city, learning to ride a bicycle, perfecting swimming, even something as simple as drawing in flour is far superior to a toddler/preschooler than tuning out the world to cartoons.

While we’d love to throw all the plastic toys we’ve accumulated from friends, family and our ill judgement in the garbage; we know these are meaningful objects to our son. If we want him to change, we have to change the meaning. Children latch on to characters in order to build their own confidence; to tear away a favorite toy could destroy a child’s ego. Instead, we have to take steady steps to rebuild where we diverted the path.

Successful tips in overcoming character obsession:

1. Eliminate the encouraging media: for us that meant not being a poor role models; we put away the iphones, ipads and laptops. No checking our email at lull times throughout the day. And of course, we turned off the television. (We don’t advise denying a favorite book, encouraging reading is always a good idea).

2. Work with the dramatics: The little ones still want to remember the one liners and super-actions. We encouraged belting out theme songs, acting out expanded scenes together, making felt costumes and cardboard props to help push the show to new grounds.

3. Positive dismissal: With no television or media device reinforcing the mania, the preoccupation will naturally fade, but not instantly. If the character comes up in conversation, respond positively, but constructively find a way to move the conversation or situation forward, without insult. “You’re right, that is like so-so, did you notice this…”

4. Redefine the character: He wasn’t about to just leave his action figure behind, instead we incorporated him into art projects, molding modeling clay around him, painting him, covering him in flour. Expand what’s possible for the character, by making him a new character.

Or, if they forget the toy in a different room, show them resourcefulness by creating a new toy version out of Legos or Tinkertoys, then creating new friends.

5. A good life: As you make the switch, make sure you’re a step ahead by planning days where they can be enamored with new experiences or projects. A loose agenda will keep a smooth flow that will have the kids saying, “iron-who?”. Use the opportunity to positively reinforce good behavior and their strengths to build confidence. The more confidence, the less they need the crutch of a pretend persona.

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